The Sad State of Montreal Radio

Popping on the radio in the morning and the evening is more or less a staple in the daily life of a commuter. Get a fix on the traffic situation, listen to the weather, maybe a few tunes and some witty DJ banter to start and finish your work day. At least, it used to be.

Nowadays, you don't need the radio to tell you the traffic situation, you have your GPS device for that. The weather? Just open up your browser before you leave to get a reading for the upcoming week. And hell, who doesn't have an MP3 player of some sort, loaded with their favourite songs, not just what some radio programming director has deemed fit to play. So, what then does the radio have left to offer the commuter?

Witty banter is about it. Some fun jokes, maybe news bites, a sports commentary, just a bit of honest, improvised fun. The sort of thing that is hard for the commuter to pop onto their MP3 player ahead of time. Plus, the radio DJs can break it down to a local level, potentially giving the local commuter a better sense of what's going on around them in their communities.

So, if we have identified what drive time radio offers, what's the problem?

The problem is that in Montreal and the surrounding area, radio really, really, really fucking sucks.

Let me preface this by saying I am pretty much talking about the FM band here. I like to have some music mixed in, and AM radio just can't cut it there. So talking about FM radio, English of course, what is the current situation?

It's piss poor is what it is. Our options in the Montreal area are pretty limited, and that may in fact be part of the problem, but honestly, it seems that as of late, Montreal radio has been sinking deeper and deeper into a pit of suck. It hasn't always been peaches and cream of course, but usually there would be a station out of the lot that had a fun formula to grab your attention and keep it, instead of making you want to punch a baby due to the sheer stupidity.

When it comes to morning radio, I like to stick to what I like. Classic Rock and Hard Rock. Because of this, stations like Q92 or Mix 96 (I ain't calling it Virgin radio) never really appealed to me. For me, the music pretty much sucked so I didn't bother with them. No, as a lover of rock and roll, that meant one thing…

CHOM 97.7

For me, the golden age of Montreal AM radio was Terry and Ted in the morning. They jumped around a fair bit during their run together, and sometimes had other people join them, but honestly it was always about Terry and Ted. They played well off of one another, kept each other in check, and had fun with the job. That was awesome. Sure, they weren't always gold, but more often than not, their show made for a good drive.

Then Terry DiMonte left Montreal.

They replaced him with Rob Kemp. Now, don't get me wrong, I actually kind of like Rob Kemp. He's laid back and can be witty and fun. However, he was a bad pairing for Ted Bird. Ted walked all over him. More specifically, Ted Bird was just such a dominant part of the show, that Kemp took a back seat. Ted Bird is fun, but he needs to be reined in. Terry DiMonte could do that, Rob Kemp could not.

Then the brainiacs at CHOM replaced Rob Kemp with Pete Merrier. The guy that was pretty much CHOM filler for most of his career is suddenly given the plum position of morning host. How bad could it be? Pretty fucking bad. Pete Merrier and Ted Bird had zero chemistry, completely different styles and sense of humour, and quite simply didn't mesh. The dynamic of the show changed, taking on a more juvenile tone mixed with some misogyny. It was uncomfortable and unenjoyable.

However, something happened over the Christmas holiday of 2009. Ted Bird got fed up with stuff (no idea what it is, that's his business) and quit CHOM. It was a balsy move, maybe suicidal career wise, but Ted made it and I respect the man for not wanting to be stuck in a shitty situation and doing something about it.

Now, CHOM was in a bit of a spot here. Ted Bird was the marquee player in the mix, and with him gone, they were in a bit of a lurch. They needed a sports guy in the mix, and someone with name value. What do they end up doing?

P.J. fucking Stock.

An ex-NHLer with a HNiC gig, P.J. had *some* name value. What he did not have, and does not have to this day, is any sort of radio ability. His timing sucks balls, his voice is not fit for radio, he isn't witty, and he has a penchant for being crass. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame P.J. Stock for this, he's collecting a pay check is all, I blame CHOM management for hiring somebody that has no business being on radio, let alone a stations flagship show.

I love classic rock, but right now I hate CHOM. Something here doesn't make sense, and one can look at the lineup to get all the understanding you need. The morning show feels like it's insulting to my intelligence, and is more likely to make me angry than give me a pleasant drive.

So what to do?

Well, several months back, there was word that Ted Bird was returning to morning radio. Fuck yeah! Right? Only it was't going to be on CHOM, he was returning to K103.7 FM.

K103.7FM? What the fuck is that?

K103.7 is the local Kahnawake radio station. Now, I had, and still do not have, any idea why Ted Bird would end up on the Kahnawake radio station, but hell, Ted was back and I was going to give the man a chance to see what he could do there. Honestly, I didn't expect much. I thought it would be the overdose of Ted Bird that we had seen before, fairly convinced that he just couldn't do a show without Terry DiMonte. Oh me of little faith.

Ted Bird is teamed up with a fellow by the name of Java Jacobs. My first thought of course was… Java? But after that, I gave them a listen over a period of time. Trying to see what I thought.

Java, it turns out, is a funny, funny guy. He's almost a cross between Terry DiMonte and Peter Griffon, and I mean that in the most flattering way possible. Like DiMonte before him, he pairs up with Ted beautifully. Ted doesn't run the man over, as Java holds his own with the Montreal radio legend, and they have the sort of chemistry that just clicks. More importantly, it sounds like they have fun together. That it's more than just a job with a paycheck attached, that these guys are friends and the banter is real.

The music is generally good and I would say classic rock dominated, though they don't seem to have a set format to follow and simply play whatever they feel like playing at the time. They have their own skits which are as hit and miss as they ever were with Terry and Ted, along with a few K103 inspired bits. Every morning they have the "world reknown spoken word artist" Clovis Bova help out with a Name That Tune skit that is constantly hilarious and genuinely a highlight of the drive in.

Honestly, if you like classic rock, if you like fun shows, if you have fond memories of Terry and Ted, give the K103 morning show a listen. It's a great example of what a place can do with fewer resources, but great people. It seems to have completely re-energized Ted Bird, and introduced me to some awesome radio. In a sea of shitty, formulaic shows that feel tired and tripe, the K103 morning show is a genuine hit that makes the morning commute that much easier to stomach.